Saturday, October 8, 2016


October 8, 2016

There is a perverse pleasure watching Notre Dame and North Carolina State play football in a torrential downpour. Tackles become Slip 'n' Slide exhibitions.  It must not be too cold as the fans are totally with it, soaked to the skin.  Fumbles abound.  I love the slo mo replays, the ball helplessly loose and the guys in midair.  It's poetic.


I now understand the election a little bit better.  An old actress friend.. she is old and is no longer a friend! hah.. said hello last night.  It became clear that those who will vote to flush the United States down the crapper are rabid.  She was rabid against Mrs. Clinton.. very!!  Shouting and wild eyed.  Her SAGAFTRA politics are also rabid, so I should not have been surprised.  What I discovered is that 'tone' erupts from the rabid while it is often subdued from moderates and liberals.  As this woman screamed at me, I have to admit that I took the bait and shouted back.  It felt a bit like 'grace' as I simply stopped w/out having the 'last word.' Reason stepped in: understanding that reasoning with a rabid person (or an animal!) is never going to be very effective.  It felt good to just calmly walk away and leave her, all rabid and foaming. 

Should we feel superior? Should 'we' use the royal 'We?'  hah.. My darling friend would say that it's all 'ego' and she'd be right.  But, now and then, to feel superior 'just because' we do not sink to epithets and rancor is all reflection of my attempt at a moderate tone, which may not always be so calm.  Finding the eye of the storm and not stooping to reactionary crap is not always easy.  Aspiring to the calm, even in the face of the ongoing slimy revelations about the republicant candidate is challenging.  

Politics? Just icky. 


It's difficult to keep in mind that there is no subtlety in email or the stuff of text messages or Facebook posts.  There is no irony unless there is a big red flag that denotes sarcasm or such.  An old actor pal of mine has been ungrateful for my attempts to be helpful to him and takes my message that he has hurt my feelings to be sarcasm!  He's a guy whom I watched literally destroy a very nice friendship by being unapologetic for slighting a really nice woman.  The friendship dissolved before my eyes and I was sorry to have been sitting there to see it.

The best communication (or dissolution of it!!) is face to face.  Then, a phone call?  A hand written letter? A typed snail mail?  After all of those, electronic communication: emails, texts, FB posts even this one:  inferior. 


Finally, regarding  missed communication and 'irony' within on line quips...  A former student where I taught high school is an articulate and very intelligent person.  How something I post on a completely different Facebook friend's page shows up for others is a total mystery to me.   'Irony' or 'sarcasm' is not obvious to me in what I read on FB and wish that if someone is trying to be clever that they'd precede the post with "Aren't I clever?" or something.  I felt insulted to be taken to school by this person and made a snarky comment, elsewhere which was also seen.  No harm done, I hope.  
Ego, again, my darling?  Yep.    It's from the Ego and the effort to be better all at the same time that bubbles up the creative stuff by which we mortals may define our selves.    

Balance? Listening? It is only by listening and understanding that any of us grows.  Ego may take stage and blather on at the expense of everything else.  Balance?  Only when we listen. Listen? Only when we care to understand. Understand? Only when the tone of the argument is tempered with something that makes sense can we come to mutual understanding, even if we disagree.  
If I feel lectured to, it's hard to even begin to listen.  Is this a lecture?? Yikes.

October 8, 2016

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