Almost May.. 4/28/22
I have a friend who is a multi-talented person. They are world traveled, educated, multilingual, cynical and vulnerable and highly artistic and skilled. And... egotistical. Big ego.
But.. to succeed in most things, ego must propel us to next steps. At least in the West.
My friend lost their friend to suicide the other day. The Suicide was, evidently, well balanced, talented, family oriented and a good friend. My friend, has felt the blow and, I, through, them, feel the blow as well.
We can't much comfort those left behind by suicide. The loss is deep. The questions never to be answered.
I learned today of the death of a woman who was 103. How can we be sad for that loss? A long life of service to the community was hers. The opportunity for those who met her to embrace her knowledge and know that we have emerged better for the contact is a gift. We pass away. Spent.
But.. when a 'healthy' person steps into the next world with no explanation, our own egos are diminished a bit because we thought we knew them and loved them and understood them.
Comforting those left behind really cannot much happen because the loss becomes personal and, somehow, all about us. The Suicide may have given all sorts of clues, but we can't grasp them because we are so self involved.
This is not an attempt to explain or fix this shock. This is just to say that as we advance through our lives, we each experience life in an individual way. We may never really know anyone else.. because of our own ego? Or? Because the 'Other' chooses not to share for any of a thousand reasons.
My friend's friend walked out of their home, drove to a remote but accessible spot to die. Perhaps to not leave a mess: a last consideration. No note. No clue. No apparent reason. Gone.
Is ego the buggaboo that, at once, drives us to succeed (or fail?) and in the end must be in charge?
Am I listening?
April 28, 2022
Glendale, California
