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Sunday, October 15, 2017

HOT HOT HOT BUTTON ISSUES

I  won't apologize for thinking that in this hew and cry about Harvey Weinstein's abysmal behavior, our society may be creating a mob mentality. This situation must be carefully examined.   

According to a woman I don't think I've met, Gillian Bagwell, I'm a moron for asking a simple question.  My question is whether or not women are at all responsible for  their involvement in what is being exposed today that includes the expulsion of Weinstein from the AMPAS (The Academy) Other men, also accused like Bill Cosby and Roman Polanski, both excoriated ..  have not been expelled. Cosby is in court and Polanski is in exile.  The President of the United States has been equally accused and may have bought off accusers (as Weinstein reportedly has done) and POTUS is still in office.  Are women complicit in some way? Where does responsibility lie?

In a totally unrelated incident,  I was recently  brought to bear by a friend for saying that I thought that a parent who decided not to answer her phone from an unknown number was responsible in part for a terrible accident: the death of her thirteen year old son.  I was attacked because the man who was upset has had the terrible and unthinkable loss of a child which colors his point of view.  Touching the nerves of now possibly hundreds of woman in Hollywood with the Weinstein issue is like making a formerly docile pet attack by stepping on its foot.  A bad analogy..but when we are hurting, to have the injury rewounded, it's just too much. 

On Facebook I told of a mentally disturbed woman who attacked me for just asking if we all should be responsible for our own actions.  I have to consider the source and not be offended because she is obviously in diminished capacity.  

In fact, all of our entire society is in diminished capacity right now.  People of good conscience are under threat of war and the president of the United States makes silly comments and behaves like an errant eighth grader: name calling and such to the embarrassment of anyone with an IQ over 99.  It is overwhelming.. and very sad.

All I really want to know is how a man like Weinstein, in a town with a gossip mill that runs 24/7 is now brought to bear for behavior that has gone on for years?  His reputation as a hard nosed producer is widely known.   Are we so naive as to think that the women who are now coming forward were so afraid of ruining careers and such that they did not, at least, speak to friends or relatives?  How sick is our Hollywood society? Lizzie Maxwell has quoted another actress in her book about Hollywood, Little Fish in a Big Pond: A Support Guide for Actors, (not naming names) saying that she scooped the Weinstein story years ago!

I have anecdotal evidence from a friend that Weinstein is not the only person in power who has taken advantage of his position of power.  The Casting Couch has been around for years and years. Not a nice thing, but still. It is true.

An actor I know insisted that any actress that was going to work with him was invited to be intimate.  Is this right or wrong? Wrong, of course. But, was the job so important that acceding to an intimate encounter was forced? 

It is NOT my intention to be flippant about this issue. I just want to point out that from time in memorial, men have been called  upon to pursue women.. the old joke is that 'he chased her until she caught him.'   In fact, in my experience, women have the power to attract and to reject advances.  If Mr. Weinstein drugged someone as has been the contention of the Cosby victims, then, how did those women get into such a bad predicament in the first place?  Choices.

I asked about the parents of the seventeen year old girl who met with Weinstein in a hotel room.  Whose responsibility was that?  

Tippi Hedren's story of being approached by Hitchcock was a bit amusing. She just walked out the door and slammed it, she says.  A dear friend of mine had dinner with the director of a film she was in.  How far it went, I don't know, but she was the type of person who could speak her mind and would never have been taken advantage of. Period. 

Responsibility is the key here.  If someone physically took advantage and forced him/her self on an unwilling person, that's rape.  File charges.  Have a trial!  We have a judicial system: criminal and civil.

But, now we get into a gray area.. The business of an 'adult' woman teacher having an affair with a seventeen year old boy may be an issue in the eyes of the law, but I'm guessing that to the boy, it was not so much being taken advantage of, as it was an adventure.  Mutual consent now rears its hoary head, along with a few glasses of champagne and a party atmosphere regardless of age. 

The deranged woman who shouted at me that she could walk around in a bikini and it would be wrong to touch her is certainly correct.  But, in this particular woman's case, she was unattractive on the inside to start with and the idea of her in a bikini is, to me repulsive.. But, what is the responsibility for women who stroll the red carpet in revealing fashions or a flirt who at first says she will and then says she won't?  Of course, No means NO! However, under the influence of drugs or alcohol or passion, when things get out of control, there must be mutual responsibility.. It seems to me.  

In jest, I suggested that women now take up the burka.  That gives men nothing to make a comment about and women can wear whatever they like out of sight.  The reason that men such as the president behave so badly is because they think they can.  "Grab a pussy" language is the essence of that guy's deep philosophy.  With an honest discussion about responsibility after the heat of this current issue dies down a bit, we may then find ways for both men and women to communicate with out name calling.   

And, I wonder if it is sexual abuse or harassment for a man to be attracted to a woman and say so? Hello..  I find you attractive.  Is that sexual harassment?  I recently met a woman whose behavior seemed to be welcoming. It was nice until we actually met one on one. That was that, but the signals that I perceived at first were positive.  The end was that I knew it was a bad idea and so did she.

If we educate our selves and engage in civil discourse, then the Gillian Bagwells of our society might not be calling folks like me a moron and the discussion may lead to a better understanding of this issue.  

Fact is, I PROBABLY AM a moron for thinking that this diatribe will make a bit of difference, but in the end, I consider myself, if not a feminist, at least a champion of women and human rights . ... all humans' rights.   Let's get communication straight before the emotional fury gets more out of hand.

michael sheehan
October 15, 2017


1 comment:

  1. Midheal, you will nor get a pass from me on this one. I got you out of the last one because it was not the time or place for that discussion. If we had been in a private place perhaps I could have reasonably. Harvey H is a predictor! so is our President. You need to find a woman friend an sit down and shut up and listen with no response. Then go home think about what she tells you.

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