HEARTS ON SLEEVES

 These are the days of new stuff.  Old stuff creates the foundation for the new stuff and it becomes old stuff and so on and so on.

Emotional ups and downs.. our hearts on our sleeves, have become fodder for the last year. Self denial and exploration and ideas warped by bad juju in the country and in the world.  No one is exempt. 

I've learned stuff from old stuff and am hoping for new stuff for additions to my life's foundations and for those I love. We all have that going on in one way or another if we are paying attention. Paying attention is good. Being distracted may disrail or change an intention.  Focus is, for me, difficult to maintain and it may be true for others.  If we are aware of this happening, and get back on track, the tea water won't boil dry, we'll have a cup and find reasons to keep on. 

I see lonely posts on FB by lonely others who will probably always be lonely.  This is not to dismiss them, but to say that I understand. So.. my heart is on my sleeve in that regard. 

Missed understandings and 'trigger' moments are more and more prevalent with 'e' communication. You may read a 'tone' .. even in this post.. that is contrary to my intention.  My intention is to just release some gratitude for having feelings dealt with and information exchanged today that matters. 

Most of us don't have 'real' discussions.  We report and fall back.. Report and pretend to listen. Not really listening. Men and Women express and 'listen' in very different ways.  To be truly 'heard' is a rarity, but now and then, with trusted others, we may feel heard or in turn truly listen. 

That said, I want for those old republican classmates and dear friends and pals and peripherals.. all  to know that if it was up to me, we'd all just forgive one another and to whatever degree we may be capable of, restack the order of our love and share it as best we can. 

It seems that politics with "P" has become religion with "R"  a big fat R.. and the strong emotional ties to whatever our Beliefs "B".. may be, they seem to override the Essence "E" of what true connections are about. or really ought to be: essential.

I'm at a crossroads.  "E" communication: email, texts and other stuff that I don't Enderstand are dissolving our communication.  What I call 'meme' mentality is dominating social media.  A parallel is being cut off in traffic ..probably by accident and the exchange of silent genstures and unheard shouts erupt. It's where we are.

Flip side?  I drive an old VW Bus.  It's a pal. Every time I head to the market or to do errands and drive the Bus, someone may smile or wave or ask to buy it. It's human communication.  Thanks to a mutual moment of feeling good. 

I'm becoming an advocate of letter writing.  I believe that if I hold a letter written by an old friend in Paris, a cursive note that slants up or down, on recycled notes about his music, that the connection is a warm and welcome one. No discussion of the weather. Maybe a thumbs up about the direction the USA is headed. Art. A paper missal (sort of)  from
5,637 miles away.  

Typing may become a 'thing' again.  It's not cursive, but it is personal.  That's what I miss: personal connections. It's too easy to whip off an email or send a text.  Of course, casual connecting is vital, to keep a ball in the air, but good communication .. to me .. must begin again to be more personal. 

Of course, there are folks who rub us the wrong way.. or vice versa.  It's inevitable. It's tough to be not liked or dismissed.  Dismissed is probably worse or maybe just to have become inconsequential? At least, with animosity, something is happening. Maybe we act out just to get a reaction when someone has ignored us. (That scene with Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? Yikes!)

This is a note in a bottle that I've written mostly to myself.  I hope I never ignore me.  The Old republicans from high school will maybe understand and respond. Edit.. Edit... Edit..

An old right winger pal in my home town has giving me the silent treatment for a bad taste joke I played on him. If friendships matter, marriages, relationships? connections? If they matter, they can be fixed. I learned that lesson  from my most trusted friend. Before that day, I thought that an argument or dust up meant the end of the relationship. She showed me a better way.  

Love one another.

michael sheehan

glendale, california 

april 17, 2021

This is my cousin, Nidra.  She makes me smile.