THE IRISH

May 12. 2024

It's Mothers' Day.  Facebook is full of tributes and photos.  This melds with the news that Malachy McCourt, author, saloon keeper, raconteur, an actor and fine Blaguard all and all has died.

               Malachy McCourt photo alamy  

His brother, Frank McCourt, won attention with his book "Angela's Ashes" .. and I learned that Angela was a Sheehan.

I once called Malachy and asked if he thought we might be cousins.. He laughed.. "Ah. there's  a million Sheehans in Limerick!"   So. Malachy has died at 92 and a celebration of his life will come up in New York soon. His son, Conor, sent me an invitation.. 

All of this turns on watching some interviews with Malachy and Frank talking about their play, A Couple of Blaguards..and how their years of poverty and the oppression of the church and .. poverty!  churned them  up to be inspirations and examples of what the Irish have to offer.

 

Malachy said, in one interview, that the Irish mourn weddings and celebrate death!  As we all tumble down the road to oblivion, this made me smile as I anticipate an Irish take on British wealth by GB Shaw in his play "Misalliance."   It's a romp and the 'nobility' is skewered right along with the great wit that I'd heard about with Shaw, but had not really examined.  This is a sort of footnote to my review of the play and hopefully.. I'll see it next Saturday, May 18th.. an auspicious day.. and if the production at A Noise Within is up to the writing, it'll be a lot of fun.

In an interview with Charlie Rose, Malachy and brother Frank, chat about A Couple of Blaguards and this makes me wish I'd seen them do it.  Malachy says that one great goal in his life was to make Frank laugh.  After reading Angela's Ashes, it was good to hear that Frank could laugh.. and according to Malachy, uncontrollably!  What joy.

 

Malachy went on with the list of Irish writers who are beloved and 'important' in world literature.. W.B. Yeats is a fave of mine.. and the rambles of Jame Joyce's Ulysses, especially.. Yes..  

So.. Shaw is on the docket. The beauty of the English language forced upon the Irish who have taken it to special heights ..maybe kicking and screaming.. but certainly with a lilt and joy that few others in English have risen to.

Malachy died a while back. We probably were not cousins.. except in some odd Irish way that he had from birth and I from those Sheehan immigrants so lojng ago.  

Long live language. Slante! 

Mass Murders

It's the bullets. It's the bullets. It is the bullets. 

 

These are bullets They kill. Guns without bullets are fancy clubs..

The hue and cry of access to all kinds of guns and the cry of the right: "Second Amendment!!  all forget that the way guns work is with bullets. 

On Facebook and in person to others now and then, I remind folks that bullets make guns lethal. Certainly being battered with an automatic weapon might kill us, but that activity is .. at least.. one person at a time. 

With the massacre in Monterey Park, California Saturday January 21, 2023 and a report of seven murdered in Half Moon Bay today, 1/23, it was because of bullets.

There will  be dozens of 'well buts' that others might offer up to my call for a way to start tracking the sales of bullets that are used in automatic weapons, but acknowledging that the bullets, ultimately, are the problem is the goal. The man who killed eleven in Monterey Park and later commited suicide had a cache of ammunition. He had easy access to ammunition.

There are probably millions of bullets in the armories of people like the insurgents who attacked the Capitol on J6, but, if we start now to find a rational way to track large sales of ammunition for automatic weapons and levy penalties for those who self load , the same way moonshine is regulated. that would be a start.

This is a plea to ATFE and local leaders to examine the idea of regulating the ammo that is designed specifically for weapons of war.  The "E" n ATFE is about Explosives.. which bullets must be.  If Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms are now under the aegis of ATFE and Federal stamps are on Tobacco and Alcohol.. why can't there be a way to track and regulate the "E". .the bullets that explode and kill innocent citizens?

All of the arguments that say bullet regulation is impossible just don't fly.  Had the  Las Vegas assassin who killed 58 victms and left almost 500.. FIVE HUNDRED others wounded, not to mention the mental trauma radiating in wave after wave of sadness and fear beyond those who were attacked? Had his purchases been redflagged? What then?

Had this man, who wheeled into the Mandalay Bay Hotel a virtual arsenal of weapons and thousands of bullets been noticed as he accumulated his cache of thousands of bullets for automatic weapons, that horrible event five and a half years ago just might have been avoided.  

When do we start? Now.

How do we start?  I don't know.. 

This is just my note in a bottle tossed into the sea of cyberspace.  If the leaders who can take this notion that it's the bullets..  and make manifest the idea that bullets for weapons of war must be..at least.. tracked, we may be on the way to healing. 

Currently, the United States is a land of fear and divisiveness  exacerbated by the pandemic with more and more  people teetering on the brink of failing mental health. In Colorado Springs? That murderer had announced his intentions well ahead of his attack!

We must find a way to consider the bullets and all ammunition as a topic for broader discussion. And, notwithstanding the gun advocates who shout "Second Amendment" we must respond calmly and with a civil tone.  Did the Founding Fathers anticipate the ability of a 'well regulated militia' to have access to more than muskets and mini balls? Did they intend for private citizens to have weapons that would deliver SIX HUNDRED ROUNDS PER MINUTE? Do the math.. Talk it over. Regulate and track the ordnance for assault rifles. Save lives.

 Civilization must respond. Human Beings of Good Will must find a way to peace and stem the tide by attending to the bullets.

RELUCTANT SOLSTICE

 DECEMBER 21, 2022

 

the last words I heard her voice say

"i love you"

which i may have never heard before...

fool me once, shame on you

fool me twice, shame on me

trust can only stand on the shoulders of 

honesty and loyalty  & other traits, I suppose

but when loyalty is lost

how can we return?

when honesty is in question? 

what then? 

where does trust find itself?    lost

when someone has never been wrong

apologies are never coming

when there is no spontaneous laughter

but an angry sting erupts without skipping a beat

we know which spark prevails

no fun

no joy

no kiddin'

no dice

is asking someone if they are in love creepy?

is asking someone what kind of person they are 

creepy?  

friendship is not up to one person

friendship is an 'us' situation

'we' become friends 

or ...  

what? 

 

NOW AND THEN AND HERE AND THERE

 November 7, 2022

 Art is on my mind.  

A well known deep pockets Collector of Art calls on two factions of contemporary art to decide which kind of art is Best.  

He invites the Conceptual Artists and the Representational Artists. 

The Representational Artists say, "We'll have a debate. "

The Conceptual Artists leave the room.

The Art Collector then declares that there shall be a Competition to see whose art is 'Best.'  

A large gallery is provided & divided down the middle with a heavy curtain.  The Conceptual Artists are on one side & the Representational Artists are on the other side of the curtain.

The Representational Artists ask for a myriad of supplies: paints in all the colors and brushes and markers and such.  The Art Collector provides all of these supplies: including life models & canvases and easels.

The Conceptual Artists, when asked what their needs are? Respond, "We have it covered. Thank you."

Time passes. The Representational Artists work feverishly to make their work   

There are sounds coming from tthe Conceptual Artists on the other side of the curtain.

When the time is up, The Art Collector draws back the curtain in the gallery to compare the work of the Representational Artists and the  Conceptual Artists. 

The Representational Artists have created a beautiful room of color and landscapes and portraits and still lifes. There are sculptures in bronze and clay.

The Conceptual Artists on the their side of the gallery have cleaned the room to shine.  It totally reflects the beauty of the Representational Artists.

The Art Collector smiles.

 

With thanks to J. Rumi.

michael sheehan

November 7, 2022

glendale, california 

My favorite St Mary's Professor

My favorite St. Mary's professor  has become a sort of distant pal over time.  He's in the theatre and teaches history at St. Mary's College in South Bend.  His insights into the current cultural scene may seem a bit biased to many folks.. but they make  sense to me and twisting the dagger a little.. seems like an okay idea to me.

This is Bill's latest take that points up what we al lmay susect but may not articulate quite as well. Thanks, Bill.. 

/////

From the fertile mind of Bill Svelmoe. 

South Bend, Indiana

"I’m enjoying a few lingering moments on the deck before heading into the office with a purpose for the first time since May 2021. Got to print off some syllabi.

But it probably won’t be this version. Yesterday, after a matinee of “Unnecessary Farce,” and then a cast party during which many glasses of my jalapeno-cucumber margaritas were, how to put it, enjoyed, I wrote a syllabus for my freshman survey.

Below are the “Course Objectives.” I’ll probably have to rip this up and start over. Don’t want to scare the newbies before they even make it to their first football game.

Course Objectives

1. For many of you, this is the first semester of your first year in college, often billed as the greatest four years of your life. The classroom should be part of that word “greatest.” It’s not, “greatest four years going to parties and football games, and then, oh yeah, I have to go to class.” Class should be something you look forward to. History is a discipline that is inherently interesting. It’s my challenge to have you thinking, when you get out of bed on TTh, “Cool. I get to start my day with some history!”

2. But let’s be honest. We are living through a very dangerous time in history. Before you graduate, you may see the end of the American experiment in democracy. It may end in violence. You may see nuclear weapons used on battlefields in Europe and Asia. If you live a normal life span, you will almost certainly see the destruction of large sections of our world through fire, storm, and flood. A vast human tide will move away from coastal regions and march north, as unbearable heat blankets much of the globe. I want to help you learn to think historically about the moment through which you are living. This course will help you understand how we got here. Yes, actions and attitudes from centuries ago launched us on this path. Early American history is the gateway drug to all that follows.

3. There is simply no way to talk about American history in 2022 without “being political.” I am genuinely sorry about that. For my entire career at St. Mary’s, I have avoided, at least in introductory courses, engaging with students in a way that would seem to favor one side of our political divide over the other. That is impossible to do going forward. I cannot honestly talk to you about American history without candidly addressing the threat posed to our democracy by Donald Trump and the current iteration of the Republican party. History is about the pursuit of truth and fact. Truth and fact are not priorities for Donald Trump and most of the Republican party today. One of the objectives of this course is to show you the roots of what I will call “Trumpism” in our early history. I would not be a responsible historian if I did not do this. It won’t come up every day. It probably won’t come up most days. But I’m telling you this on day one, so that you know what is coming.

I understand conservatism in my bones. My family is very conservative. The community I grew up in is very conservative. I voted Republican for most of my life. And, although Trumpism is not conservatism, I understand why conservatives have embraced him. And I understand how emotionally taxing it can be to engage in conversations like this. I have lost close friends. I have family that doesn’t speak to me. So I don’t make this decision lightly. But it is a decision I must make. And now you have a decision to make.

4. At the end of the course the student should have a comfortable grasp of the foundational incidents, accidents, and themes pertaining to the history of America through the Civil War. That is the goal of any American history survey course.

It may seem difficult to apply a history so remote to your life today. I make you this promise. After taking this course, you will understand better why this “city on a hill” had the worst response of any western nation to the global pandemic. You will understand better why religion is so deeply entwined with the politics of our nation, for good and/or ill. And you will understand better why the simple declaration that “Black Lives Matter” still arouses such resentment in so many Americans. Why a vice president of the United States could not bring himself to utter those words on national television. Our earliest history still echoes today.

Make no mistake. This will not be a comfortable course. If you’re looking for comfort in 2022, a study of American history is not the place to find it. Yes, there is much in American history to inspire. This is the nation that declared “all men are created equal.” This is the nation, the first in human history, to write a path of hope for regular folk, those not born into privilege. But don’t think for a second that those who were born into privilege really meant what they said. It fell to women, to African Americans, to the vast human tide of immigrants to insist that such words must have meaning beyond parchment promises. A genuine study of American history must focus on that struggle.

Finally, the study of history is one of the paths to wisdom, and wisdom is perhaps the most important quality of a person who can successfully claim to have lived a good life. Wisdom, at least in part, is the ability to make decisions based on an understanding of similar human experience in the past (including of course your own), as well as a capacity to deeply reflect upon one’s own self and identity. History follows no invariable laws, which is why history books are filled with stories about human beings, not formulas and equations. Individuals, strong and weak, good and bad, wise and foolish, have often made a direct impact on the course of history. Understanding another time will assist us as we strive to live well within our own.

Huh, I wonder if I could teach this in Florida???"

The Classified Documents and the outrage of the Law..

I have asked to know the name of the author of the folllowing.  I found it on Facebook and the obvious bias in this essay is .. well.. obvious..

With the raid of the former president's home in Florida and the now disclosure of what was found to be in his possession dramatically reported .. I wonder if Fox News is reporting this??  It's time to make sure that no one is 'above' the law.

Twenty boxes of sensitive and possibly most top secret documents, including the 'pardon' of Roger Stone, the former president's friend, are in the inventory.  This is serious business. 

 This essay was written before the current disclosure of the inventory receipt.  

It's tough to make jokes about what a bad actor this former president apparently is now.  The following essay, with tongue in cheek, speaks volumes, but the fact is that the United States is in a crisis that this former president has fomented. The death of one of his acolytes,  Ricky Shiffer, who died when shooting at the FBI with an automatic weapon yesterday (August 11, 2022) is a sad testament to the problems that may take a long time to solve. 

Who wrote this essay?  Do you know?

EDIT..   I learned that this essay is from The Shovel. No author.. but  

 https://www.theshovel.com.au/.../the-shovels-view-on-the.../

///

"We are certainly no fans of Donald Trump – let’s make that clear from the outset. But yesterday’s raid by the FBI on the home of a former president sets a dangerous precedent.

A precedent which now means that anyone who evades taxes, attempts to undermine an election, sexually assaults women, manipulates the value of their assets, uses state resources to enrich themselves or aids and abets the overthrow of a democratically elected government will be subject to investigation.

Is that the world we want to live in? Where anyone accused of insurrection can be subject to questioning from law enforcement officers?

It’s a slippery slope. Before we know it, regular citizens accused of defrauding the government, concealing evidence, manipulating financial documents, tampering with witnesses or perverting the course of justice will also be held to account.

Or to put it another way, if we simply shrug our shoulders and fail to question the actions of the FBI, soon any old Joe Citizen who is suspected of ripping classified government documents into small pieces and flushing them down the toilet will be obliged to answer to law enforcement, as well as their plumber.

If we don’t ask the hard questions about the potential motives of the FBI now, soon any one of us who buries our ex-wife in a small grave at the side of their golf course in order to gain a tax concession will be treated with suspicion.

As Trump supporters put it so clearly yesterday, if this can happen to a President, it could happen to anyone who has committed insurrection, assault or fraud. That’s a chilling thought.

We are on new ground here. As Donald Trump himself made clear, this is the first time a former president’s home has been raided. Proof, if ever we needed it, that the FBI shamefully only targets people whom it considers to have committed a crime. Who gave FBI director Chris Wray that authority?

As we made clear earlier, we’re certainly not Trump supporters. But in today’s partisan world, it would be easy to fall into the trap of cheering on the FBI’s actions, without taking a step back to look at the bigger picture. If Trump goes to jail, it opens the door for every lying, corrupt, perverted piece of shit to go to jail too. Is that what we want?"

SVELMOE is at it again..

From time to time, Bill Svelmoe, a college professor in Indiana, comes to the table to bring an understanding to his readers.  We have theatre in common and that's enough.  He's much more into Politics than I, but his point of view is one that I like and it makes sense to me.  

His take on the daily news as of Sunday, August 7, 2022 lays it on pretty thick.  Thanks Bill.  

This is shared from Facebook with Bill Svelmoe's permission. 

//

• Matt Gaetz and Roger Stone caught on tape.

  Gaetz: “You’re a bullshit artist, not a liar.”

  Stone: “Correct. There’s a big difference.”

  Correct. There is a big difference.

  As philosopher Harry Frankfurt pointed out in his book "On Bullshit," a liar is often a very clever person with a genuine connection to the truth. A liar knows what the truth is and deliberately tells you an untruth in order to steer you away from the truth. Liars are likely too smart to lie about something that is easily disproved. They don't want to get caught.

  But a bullshit artist has no connection to the truth at all. The truth is simply whatever they desire it to be in the moment. So the bullshit artist does not think beyond the needs of that moment. What do I need to say to get me successfully through this moment? And in that moment, the bullshit artist may or may not actually believe what they are saying. It really matters little, as they have little actual relationship with the truth at all. In fact, sometimes they might actually speak the truth quite by accident.

  Trump, and those who follow in his wake, are bullshit artists. You see this in the fact that Trump is incapable, apparently, of thinking beyond the moment. A very dangerous trait to have in a leader by the way. A basic trait which humans, indeed all higher order animals, evolved in order to survive is the ability to make decisions based on future outcomes. You see this ability in the squirrel that starts across the road, sees the oncoming car, hesitates, then sprints back to safety. Basic survival. How will this decision affect my future?

  Trump, as with all accomplished bullshitters, seems not to have evolved this trait in any substantial way. Whatever bullshit is required in the moment to let him avoid facing his own shortcomings shapes the words that come out of his mouth.

  You see this in the infamous cruise ship incident from early in the pandemic. Trump wanted to keep the cruise ship filled with Americans offshore because he didn't want the "numbers" to go up that day. Now any human with a modicum of the kind of adaptive intelligence required to survive on this planet knows that whatever the numbers might be on that day, in a pandemic those numbers will matter not one whit tomorrow, or next week, or next month. Nobody will remember or even care what the numbers were that day. So even the dullest human being would know that future numbers will be how a leader is judged.

  But for the bullshit artist only what is needed for the moment is seen. And "truth" is whatever gets one "successfully," as in with the least loss of face, through that moment. Only the numbers of that day would get Trump to his pillow at night with the happy dream that all was well with the world.

  And so we get the well documented daily stream of bullshit from Trump and his followers about anything and everything, including that he won the last election. But I am convinced Trump is more dangerous than your typical liar. Because Trump has no idea what the truth of these matters really is. He genuinely believes whatever his brain, such as it is, cooks up for the moment to get him through that moment. That the lie will be exposed in an hour, or a day, never enters his head. Because an accomplished bullshitter like Trump will have a new "truth" to ease his passage through that future confrontation.

  As we’ve seen with Trump, a bullshit artist can have a great deal of success in life. Lots of money to be made from the rubes with bullshit. You can build quite a following.

  But, as Trump and his band of buffoons have found out since the election, and as Alex Jones found out this week, bullshit, while it can get you far, runs into a stone wall, or what we might call a category error, when you wind up in a courtroom. Judges, even judges appointed by the world’s greatest bullshit artist, tend to recognize the difference between bullshit and fact/truth. Their professional lives depend on making such fine distinctions.

  It has been fascinating, and very gratifying, to watch Alex Jones get his comeuppance in court this week. Very gratifying to see a $50 million-dollar verdict. And fascinating to see a bullshit artist in the mold of Trump struggle to come to grips with the difference in a court of law between his bullshit and the truth.

  “You must tell the truth while you testify,” Judge Maya Guerra Gamble gently admonished the befuddled Jones. “This is not your show. You need to slow down and not take what you see as opportunities to further the message you’re wanting to further and instead only answer the specific and exact questions you have been asked.”

  I love the injunction to "slow down." Bringing one's mind to a place of truth often requires time, a moment of reflection, the sober pause. But the mind of the bullshit artist is always racing. No need to pause and reflect. The boxer instinctively brings his hands up to protect his face. The knight needs no thought to throw up his shield. The bullshit artist operates on this self-protective instinct. A lifetime of practice. An enormous fund upon which to draw. The Joy's John is very deep. (NOTE.. 'Joy's John' is what we call "Porta Potties" in California) 

   

  When have you ever seen Trump pause to reflect when asked a question? Never. There is just the immediate response. Whatever is needed in the moment to get to the next moment. Injury free.

  Jones was clearly puzzled. Nonplussed. He didn't understand the distinction being made by the judge. He argued that he believed he was telling the truth.

  Judge Gamble, in a moment that so clearly encapsulated a real dilemma of our modern world, perhaps "the" dilemma of our modern world, had to carefully explain to Jones the difference between an alternative reality media world and a court of law. In the law, she told him, truth was actually a real thing.

  Judge Gamble: “You believe everything you say is true, but it isn’t. Just because you claim to think something is true does not make it true. It does not protect you. It is not allowed. You’re under oath.”

  Simply a wonderful moment! But a truth that needs to be carefully delineated over and over to our friends who have fallen under the spell of Trumpism. Just because you think something is true does not make it true. How often have you heard it from your conservative friends? “Well, that’s your point of view. I have my point of view.” But ultimately a point of view is only as valid as the truth/facts upon which it is grounded. Jesus, in one of his parables, referred to this as building one’s house upon a rock rather than upon sand.

  The problem for Trump and Trumpers is that their house, their point of view, is built on sand. And, while I’ll be the first to admit that, in so far as a house built on sand has a great view of the water, such a house can be very attractive. But, eventually, the water will rise.

  And, in my little Jesus parable, the rising water for Trump, Alex Jones, and Trumpers in general, well, let’s just say that particular spigot is most often turned these days by a judge and a jury and smart lawyers.

  Alex Jones saw his house washed away this week. We eagerly await the rising flood exacting a similar accountability on the palaces of the Stable Genius …

  
  

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Typing? July 16, 2022 Brand Art Galleries

This is an experiment.  I attended the opening reception for "GenERAtions" at the Brand Galleries in Glendale, California  I sat for about two hours and chatted with folks and thus only got about two pages typed.  Writing 'from the hip' means, to me.. just narrating with no censor what is going on around me.  My personal take on what I see is spontaneous and honest.  We'll see how it looks.  One may be able to enlarge this.

This is page two.

I believe that using a manual typewriter can enhance a writer's creativity.   When we type on a keyboard and put messages up or send emails or worst of all, send texts or tweets, we are sending out immediate impressions that are often misunderstood.  When typing on a manual typewriter, the effort is different, the brain works differently and the thought process is different.  That said, these two pages came spontaneously, perhaps denying my entire premise?

michael sheehan 

early July 17, 2022

We Come and Go

 Almost May..  4/28/22

 I have a friend who is a multi-talented person. They are world traveled, educated, multilingual, cynical and vulnerable and highly artistic and skilled. And... egotistical.  Big ego.

But.. to succeed in most things, ego must propel us to next steps.  At least in the West.

My friend lost their friend to suicide the other day. The Suicide was, evidently, well balanced, talented, family oriented and a good friend.  My friend, has felt the blow and, I, through, them, feel the blow as well.  

We can't much comfort those left behind by suicide.  The loss is deep. The questions never to be answered.  

I learned today of the death of a woman who was 103. How can we be sad for that loss?  A long life of service to the community was hers.  The opportunity for those who met her to embrace her knowledge and know  that we have emerged better for the contact is a gift.  We pass away. Spent.

But.. when a 'healthy' person steps into the next world with no explanation, our own egos are diminished a bit because we thought we knew them and loved them and understood them. 

Comforting those left behind really cannot much happen because the loss becomes personal and, somehow, all about us.  The Suicide may have given all sorts of clues, but we can't grasp them because we are so self involved.  

This is not an attempt to explain or fix this shock. This is just to say that as we advance through our lives, we each experience life in an individual way. We may never really know anyone else.. because of our own ego? Or? Because the 'Other' chooses not to share for any of a thousand reasons.

My friend's friend walked out of their home, drove to a remote but accessible spot to die. Perhaps to not leave a mess: a last consideration. No note. No clue. No apparent reason.  Gone. 

Is ego the buggaboo that, at once, drives us to succeed (or fail?) and in the end must be in charge?

Am I listening? 

April 28, 2022 

Glendale, California

The Power of The NO!

 Recently, I have had to deal with NO!

 

"NO" of course comes in many packages:

 

A friend dies  "Oh No..."

 

A child reaches for a forbidden thing "NO!  Hot!"

 

The dog makes a mess on the floor.  "NO! Bad Dog!" 

 

Are you happy? "no.."

Are you unhappy? "--- No..."

Eat your spinach.. "NO!  (ow)" 

Does this hurt? "no"

DOES THIS HURT?? "...  ow... n o o  o..."

Joseph Campbell discusses in the Hero's Journey that The Hero  may come to a Gate Keeper now and again who will challenge the Hero and try to prevent him from continuing his quest: To find and secure the 'boons.'  Conflict is essential to every good story, no?

The gatekeeper represents a "NO" that makes us stop for a moment and then find a way around or over or under or through the Gate.. unless we want to fail and end the quest.  

(Or see the foolishness of it? )

Sometimes the "No" is a boon in and of itself. How many times have we been stopped at a Red Light (no, don't proceed) as a fire truck comes screaming through right in front of us? Or,  have we missed the last seat on a doomed airplane .. No Room...  keeping us alive? 

Those made up instances are simple ideas to sort of mitigate the sting of a rebuke or a rejection or some other No that may be waiting for us unawares.

The on line dictionary definitions? 

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=no+definition

(I wonder why that isn't a direct link?  A "NO?" 

That link, of course, is a cop out, no?

We have so many ways to say No.  In polite society, we may apologize and say, "Sorry... no.." (In the voice of Ken Jennings hosting Jeopardy!?)

Tone in punctuation and in tone of voice and attitude make a world of difference when simply declining  an offer or a request.  Of course, in polite society, we attempt to become deferential to soften the denial. Slamming the door of opportunity in one's face would be the opposite of that, no? 

For dramatic effect the door slam can be useful. The broad hand of a LeBron James denying an opponent a basket a sort of a door slam. 

Rejected!!!

On Jeopardy, when a contestant supplies the wrong  response to a clue, the host's tone is conciliatory. "Sorry. No"  Not "NO you stupid moron!!" 

As an actor, I have faced  No! a thousand times.  Rejection is a thing. 

Rejection is a thing that  one must face with the hope that something will change and something good will come of the rejection.  

But, if the rejection is phrased to cut and wound the supplicant, that No is on the Gate Keeper. To deliberately reject someone, with prejudice, that denial may be intentionally just mean.  It's a good plot point for a melodrama, but in our simple lives, to preserve some dignity in the situation, kind people take a moment and with or without or a reason.. must remember to say, "Sorry. No..

 Or? Even "No...  thank you." 

No?

michaelsheehan

 

PROFESSIONAL HELP

This note and the previous one are to take some difficult stuff and make a record of it. Only one friend has expressed an interest and she may read  this.. She's aware of my birthday and declares that Taurus men are possessive with their women.  I never possessed this woman, though years ago she asked is she was 'my girl..' Euphemism..

It was the surprise that got me all upset.  Bottom line, is that we tell our friends stuff that maybe will change our relationship in a way that is not hurtful.. and may preserve the friendship, even if it changes. That happened like a slap in the face to me and my writing about it and getting feedback from one writer friend is helpful.  I want the woman who surprised me with news of 'being with' a man for ten months and never mentioned it to just tell me why? What happened? I had no social or 'mate' type of connection with her. We would report back and forth once or twice a week on the phone. The Plague has had her not invite me to her home and so.. a couple of meals over time and life was 'normal' except that she's in a relationship with this guy. Am I unable to handle the truth??  I do try to treat her like a special friend with gifts and stuff from time to time..  That's not staking a claim.

My criticism of her way of doing or not doing something is a cruel thing to report. But.. it's the truth.  I've walked on eggs for years just because the friendship was more important than causing her to be angry, which was not hard to do if I wasn't careful. Why stick with a connection like this? Well you may ask. Because I have a genuine respect and affection for her and want to be supportive and have been. Thinking she was grateful was enough, though he feeling of gratitude never realy was felt. End of story.

In my attempt to fix things.. because this is all on me, of course for having a very emotional reaction to her "I don't know how you'll take this.. but..." I'm still smarting, but she is just about my only connection on a regular basis to the outside world. Oh poor me. 

So. I wrote this to her:

... I understand that you did not mean to hurt my feelings.. I am pretty sure. But.. I've been feeling left out and disrespected for a long time as far as we are concerned: to matter less and less to you and it makes sense because you are in love with someone who makes you happy.. Your terse responses or no responses are frustrating, but that's because you have little to share with me.  If you kept your lover a secret from your kids and other friends, which I really doubt.. that would be one thing. I just felt slapped in the face.

So.. this little gift I have for you  may or may not happen.  Frankly, I just want to find out why you'd carry on a love affair and not tell me for ten months?

I've never wanted to hold you back and you gave me fair warning years ago. 

What I'd have done.. after maybe the first hint that some gal was becoming a regular thing for me or we'd slept  together.. and it was maybe 'going somewhere'.. I hope that I would just see you in person and care about your feelings.. just in case you had any feelings regarding my happiness.. and it would have only colored the connection as an early warning with a discussion,.. maybe. But, that's all speculation and just me ..I am still sort of reeling and feeling sorry for myself and like a fucking fool.

You are forgiven. You are my friend. I am shocked and a bit jealous and feel pretty stupid.. But, I'm naive like that and I know you well enough that even this note may be dismissed as a nuisance. 

I sincerely hope not.

The end of August, 2021 You need Professional Help!

August 31, 2021

 The dog days of summer.. Easy times. But, when a person you consider a close friend and has been a friend for over fifteen years calls and says,"I don't know how you are going to take this.." and tells of a love affair that has gone on for almost a year.. well, ten months, I must be wrong to feel insulted and betrayed, not because I hold any sway at all over my friend's life, but true friends generally share good news.
. She mostly dismisses my suggestions and is hard pressed to share much of anything beside a daily report and then my report and then her report. Danger, Will Robinson? Red flag?  To a less naive guy, probably.

To feel dismissed is probably on the dismissee and the dismisser really has no feeling about being dismissive because it's not their affair to look out for the feelings of someone who has .. he thought.. me.. was being loyal and helpful and kind and all of that, as a good friend behaves.

I've vented on FB and the odd thing was that in my dismay and hurt feelings .. I put up one of those meme things with white text and black back ground 

 "I know a woman who has never made an apology and never said thank you from her heart. How about that?"

Immediately, I get the email telling me that I need professional help. In my inimitable way, I agree. I need a plumber and other professionals to do the stuff that I seem uable to do myself.  The sad thing is that instead of offering any help or wanting to make me feel better.. I get another dismissal.  Some folks are like that :Black and  White.  I've been accused of that and hope it ain't true.. But hiring a 'professional helper' for a situation that could have easily just been discussed about the second month that she was having so much fun; opting to share it with her other friends (I'm pretty sure..)  and not me.. it felt like a deliberate slight and 'I don't know how you are going to take this" as an introduction to this surprise was just really a friggin' surprise.

 The business of venting in public is not all that cool.  How many of her friends know that she's never apologized because she is never wrong and says the words 'thank you' clearly, but with nary a hint of really being grateful might be that, I, in my feeling dismissed wonder why sharing good news.. she found someone to be with.. would not be something to share right off the bat?  Am I jealous, probably. But, the air kisses at parting after a dinner or lunch and exchanging reports was probably a red flag, too.

We all have stuff that is on a need to know basis. Sometimes too much information can be.. well.. too much information.. My getting my tender feelings stomped on is on me, right? Feeling left out? This behavior expands to other stuff that I've deliberately swallowed and kowtowed to, just because being snapped at for asking 'is everything all right?' makes me a cautious pal. Red Flag?

I take responsibility for the stuff in my life. Do I deserve an apology for being deiberately kept in the dark vis a vis my friend's happiness?  Maybe because I had discussed her handling my estate if/when I die, as a friend..  made me think that I mattered in some extra ordinary way?  Could be.  so. 

Poor Me.. my feeings got crushed and she's in the sack or not. .none of MY business. with someone she likes and finds attractive and that's a blessing.  I said to her on the phone "I just want for you to be happy.. " and I meant it, but that did not dismiss my feeling as though she really had very little concern for my feelings and probably would have not said anything, except we have some business she helped me with and she didn't want the news of her big deal to come from another source.. 

 Maybe I'd have gotten an invitation to a wedding in the mail? Oh By the Way..  That's silly, of course, but I'm on a roll and still feel crappy and would do just about anything to fix it because it all comes back to my feeling damaged by another person's actions, whether they intended to hurt me or not.  The get help email was deliberately mean.  But, being terse and tacit is the way some folks survive. 

I maybe wrong all together. Later?  I'll be happy to be friends.  Am I glutton for punishment? Evidently??  It's just not very comfortable dealing with a person who thinks about things more than being spontaneous and when I've tried to make her laugh ..?  It's like pulling teeth. I'm about one for ten. 

We learn to cope and the fact is I've relied on her way too much. Too many eggs in one basket, right? So.. We get what we deserve.. the royal We? ..  I can forgive just about anything.. but I am entitled to my feelings and my feelings are in sad repair. 

We are all responsible for our own feelings even when they have been knocked silly by someone who was trusted.  They didn't ASK to be trusted, that's on the trustor.. is that a word.. the one doing the trusting?

All anyone has to say is 'I'm sorry that you had a bad fall.  Let me give you a hand. I didn't mean to push you. It was an accident." Or they can look down at the heap in the puddle of tears and say "Get professional help." 

Okay. .call me a plumber? ..

 

August August or just a bust?

 When a go to theatre guy  / cum college prof rises to the call of August with the Scottish play at hand, weird sisters in the times of non-binary and up the LGBTQ and such.. The following scene is set not upon a Heath or a Butter Brickle for those in the know of candy.. but in the phosphors. 

Barbara Garson's "MacBird" discussed a scenario after the death of a really good president with the Bard as a matrix... So, Professor Bill Svelmoe, bard of the Bend of South rises to the August occasion. 

 

With Bill's permission, I share his writing here and applaud the notion that the Theatre may be a resting place for what's to come this august August.   

 With thanks to Professor/actor/director/playwright/novelist and observer of the days of dogs to come.. His latest take on the state of our nation: Thanks Bill.

//   

It is August.

I (Bill) awakened this morning covered in sweat. The air was full of portents. Birnam Wood is on the move. Pentecostal prophets hee and haw throughout the land. On every lip one hears the cry, “August. August is here.”

 

Yes, my friends, August is indeed here. A month, we have been promised, like no other. A month, a day, an hour unlike any in our history. The Phoenix rises from the ashes. The head that had been wounded revives. The king retakes his throne.

 

Is it the return of Christ?!

For his followers, it is better than that. Like the sun rising, an orange shadow will be cast over the land.

It is the return of Donald.

It is a month that requires its own scribe. 

Its amanuensis(a literary helper?). 

Its chronicler. 

Its poet.

Barbara Tuchman, take up thy typewriter. Combine “The Guns of August” with “The March of Folly.” Perhaps “The Fools of August.” Set aside “The Distant Mirror.” A narcissist’s mirror must not be distant. Perhaps “The Mirror Next Door.”

Oh Shakespeare, take up thy pen. Record the moment. A new title that must never be mentioned on the stages of the world:

 

“Donald”

Act I, Scene 3.

Enter DONALD and GIULIANI, drenched in sweet and sour sauce and drifting makeup. With torches.

Donald: So foul and fair a day I have not seen.

Giuliani: How far is’t to Mar-a-Lago?

 

Three Pentecostal Prophets appear wearing nothing but Bibles.

The Prophets: The Weird Brothers, hand in hand,

Looking like a bad boy band,

Thus do speak, in tongues, in tongues,

Shandalabaya, and Bayadashanda, and thus spake Zarathustra,

The Donald will come and make it thunda.

Peace, the charm's wound up.

 

Giuliani: What are these

That look not like the inhabitants o’ th’ earth,

And yet are on the internet? – Live you, or are you aught

That man may question?

 

Donald: Speak, if you can: what are you?

 

First prophet: All hail, Donald, hail to thee Thane of Mar-a-Lago.

 

Second prophet: All hail, Donald, hail to thee Thane of Bedminster.

 

Third prophet: All hail, Donald, that shalt be King hereafter and Thane of White House.

 

Giuliani: Good sir, why do you start, and seem to fear

Things that do sound so fair?

In the name of truth, prophets, that mythical concept with which we are not familiar,

Are ye fantastical? My rotund partner

You greet with present grace, and great prediction

Of White House returning, and of hope of actually learning … something … for a change,

Oh he seems rapt withal as if believing his own lies.

If you can look into the seeds of time,

And say which grain will grow, and which will not,

Will the grain of his brain grow like a Thane

Or will it, like rain, run down the drain?

 

First prophet: The drain.

 

Second prophet: Yeah. The drain.

 

Third prophet: Best not get your hopes too high. We’re prophets, not magicians.

 

First prophet: Lesser than Obama, but greater than … than … somebody, somewhere, surely. Maybe Pierce.

 

Second prophet: Not so happy, yet much happier than the country will be. Forsooth. I would not want to be that nation that gets him again.

 

Third prophet: Thou shalt perhaps get another Supreme Court justice, though thou be a fool:

So all hail Donald, and Giuliani.

 

The PROPHETS turn to leave.

 

Donald: Stay, you internet prophets, tell me more:

I know I am Thane of Mar-a-Lago,

But how of White House? The Thane of White House lives

A real gentleman; a man of knowledge; a man of experience; a man who actually knows things about government; and to be king again

Stands not within the prospect of belief, although I have high hopes for Arizona

and for aid from the Thane of Pillows. Say from whence

You owe this strange intelligence, if intelligence I can call something for which there is literally zero precedent in the Constitution, or so they tell me, as reading it is really asking too much,

or why

Upon this blasted heath you stop our way

With such prophetic greeting? Speak, I charge you.

 

PROPHETS vanish.

////

Alas, that is as far as Shakespeare can take us. Perhaps Ivanka with bloody hands will reveal more.

Let us await the Ides of August my friends. As it has been foretold. “When the sun doth set upon the numberings of Arizona, then will the Son of Doofus be revealed. For when the bamboo splinters of the desert are carried throughout the land, he will retake his scepter. He will rule with a rod of pasta, and his rapier mind will once again be focused for up to three minutes at a time on topics of relevance. And the solutions to the problems of God’s nation will once again be just ‘two weeks’ away.” 

 

It will be an August for the history books … or at least, an August for the comic books …

 

HEARTS ON SLEEVES

 These are the days of new stuff.  Old stuff creates the foundation for the new stuff and it becomes old stuff and so on and so on.

Emotional ups and downs.. our hearts on our sleeves, have become fodder for the last year. Self denial and exploration and ideas warped by bad juju in the country and in the world.  No one is exempt. 

I've learned stuff from old stuff and am hoping for new stuff for additions to my life's foundations and for those I love. We all have that going on in one way or another if we are paying attention. Paying attention is good. Being distracted may disrail or change an intention.  Focus is, for me, difficult to maintain and it may be true for others.  If we are aware of this happening, and get back on track, the tea water won't boil dry, we'll have a cup and find reasons to keep on. 

I see lonely posts on FB by lonely others who will probably always be lonely.  This is not to dismiss them, but to say that I understand. So.. my heart is on my sleeve in that regard. 

Missed understandings and 'trigger' moments are more and more prevalent with 'e' communication. You may read a 'tone' .. even in this post.. that is contrary to my intention.  My intention is to just release some gratitude for having feelings dealt with and information exchanged today that matters. 

Most of us don't have 'real' discussions.  We report and fall back.. Report and pretend to listen. Not really listening. Men and Women express and 'listen' in very different ways.  To be truly 'heard' is a rarity, but now and then, with trusted others, we may feel heard or in turn truly listen. 

That said, I want for those old republican classmates and dear friends and pals and peripherals.. all  to know that if it was up to me, we'd all just forgive one another and to whatever degree we may be capable of, restack the order of our love and share it as best we can. 

It seems that politics with "P" has become religion with "R"  a big fat R.. and the strong emotional ties to whatever our Beliefs "B".. may be, they seem to override the Essence "E" of what true connections are about. or really ought to be: essential.

I'm at a crossroads.  "E" communication: email, texts and other stuff that I don't Enderstand are dissolving our communication.  What I call 'meme' mentality is dominating social media.  A parallel is being cut off in traffic ..probably by accident and the exchange of silent genstures and unheard shouts erupt. It's where we are.

Flip side?  I drive an old VW Bus.  It's a pal. Every time I head to the market or to do errands and drive the Bus, someone may smile or wave or ask to buy it. It's human communication.  Thanks to a mutual moment of feeling good. 

I'm becoming an advocate of letter writing.  I believe that if I hold a letter written by an old friend in Paris, a cursive note that slants up or down, on recycled notes about his music, that the connection is a warm and welcome one. No discussion of the weather. Maybe a thumbs up about the direction the USA is headed. Art. A paper missal (sort of)  from
5,637 miles away.  

Typing may become a 'thing' again.  It's not cursive, but it is personal.  That's what I miss: personal connections. It's too easy to whip off an email or send a text.  Of course, casual connecting is vital, to keep a ball in the air, but good communication .. to me .. must begin again to be more personal. 

Of course, there are folks who rub us the wrong way.. or vice versa.  It's inevitable. It's tough to be not liked or dismissed.  Dismissed is probably worse or maybe just to have become inconsequential? At least, with animosity, something is happening. Maybe we act out just to get a reaction when someone has ignored us. (That scene with Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? Yikes!)

This is a note in a bottle that I've written mostly to myself.  I hope I never ignore me.  The Old republicans from high school will maybe understand and respond. Edit.. Edit... Edit..

An old right winger pal in my home town has giving me the silent treatment for a bad taste joke I played on him. If friendships matter, marriages, relationships? connections? If they matter, they can be fixed. I learned that lesson  from my most trusted friend. Before that day, I thought that an argument or dust up meant the end of the relationship. She showed me a better way.  

Love one another.

michael sheehan

glendale, california 

april 17, 2021

This is my cousin, Nidra.  She makes me smile.

Does Satan have a chance?

This guy, Bill Svelmoe, has a POV and gets it from education and paying attention. He's more up for it than I am, but I have his permission to share his thoughts. We have Theatre in common and a political stance that is similar, but he is much more thoroughly educated than I. Thus.. sharing ideas that make me glad to be his distant pal. He gets a bit more het up than I might, but still.  Critical thinking and calling out the folks who are wishing 'armegeddon' (sic) on the USA is something to consider.  Thanks, Bill. 

 **********************************

 

George Bernard Shaw once said of newspapers: "They are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization."

I am reminded of that quote as I watch the right, particularly the religious right, froth at the mouth over various proposals from the Biden administration.

A few examples.

Jim Garlow, a California pastor who regularly feeds the fringes of the fever swamp, said that the possibility that Senate Democrats might do away with the filibuster is a question of “good versus evil, of the struggle of angelic beings against demonic forces.”

Who knew hell was so boring?! We always imagined Satan to be all about sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll. Instead we get Satan in council: “How many votes does it take to overturn a filibuster again? … Ok. Gorbag, see what you can do with Manchin fella. We’ve got to do something about that crumbling infrastructure.”

On that same podcast with Garlow, Family Research Council president Tony Perkins claimed that the filibuster is “the one thing standing between the radical left and the end of America as we know it.”

 

More Perkins: Biden’s agenda is “literally from the pit of hell,” and Biden is provoking God into unleashing his judgment on America. “We’re in the 11th hour and I believe America is in serious trouble. We are literally shaking our fists in the face of God and challenging God, ‘If you’re really God, you do something.’ And he is God, and he will do something.”

One hopes that when God “does something,” his targeting system is better than the usual hurricane that wipes out half of a red state. Perkins at prayer: “Dear Jesus, remind your dad that it’s the blue states that are shaking their fists, not Texas.”

James Dobson, radio Pied Piper of the religious right, warns that if the Democrats’ Voting Rights bill and the Equality Act become law, it’ll be the end of the United States: “We cannot afford to be idle while our country is hijacked by the Left-driven agenda of the Democrat Party. If we do not act now, this window of opportunity that we have to save what we hold dear will close quickly, and America’s shining light to the world will go out.”

No more green light at the end of the dock representing our hopes and dreams. Clearly, for Dobson, “America’s shining light” is white.

 

Senator Mike Lee is also a bit put out by the very idea of making it easier for minorities to vote. "Everything about this bill is rotten to the core," Lee said in an interview on FOX. "This is a bill as if written in hell by the devil himself."

The devil went down to Georgia lookin’ for a vote to steal.

One of the first things an actor learns is to leave himself somewhere to go. If a scene requires you to display a lot of anger, for example, you don’t want to start at a ten. Because half a page later, when the f-bombs really start flying, you’re already maxed out.

The right has never learned this lesson. If, in the first few months of the Biden administration, you’re already at Satan pulling levers to end America, you’ve really got no place left to go. And, at the very least, you’ve got more than three years left of Joe in the White House. Even Hitler and Stalin metaphors are a step down.

 

Jim Garlow to his congregation two years from now: “This latest Biden move is Satan at his worst. It’s just unbelievable how close we are to Armageddon and the end of all things.”

Congregation, looking at each other: “But Satan’s been jerking Biden’s chain for three years, and what have we got? The pandemic is long ago in the rearview mirror. Our bank accounts are flush. The bridges in the area are all fixed. And a few girls that you think are boys are running track. How bad could a few more years of Satan be” ...

 

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