To
be fair, President Trump wasn’t that bad,
other than when he incited an
insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed
nearly half a million Americans, separated children from their families,
lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters
on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in
front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country,
got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any
president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden,
fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged
about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the
US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall,
caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black
Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned
transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from
the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the
defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for
Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the
national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual
trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in
combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he
ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused
to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and
son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with
Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people
should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our
allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the
wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited
anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the
pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the
US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific
Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his
own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of
the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to
defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole”
countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,”
claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry
Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet
members to praise him publicly like some cult leader, believed he should
be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked
Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe,
suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to
push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after
supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges,
repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we
tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the
emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward
in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in
public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for
following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after
threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA,
nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the
Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised
dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies,
refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero
John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time
playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf
while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote,
called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed
that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing
special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face
masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its
constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones,
used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and
associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of
federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security
adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential
Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy
conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of
Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced
his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest
inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout,
tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him,
charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties,
constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate,
claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator
“Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it
stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine
federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war
with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that
his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take
part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war
dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look
like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love
letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear
violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria
in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally
visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia
to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President,
drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that
Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use
personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary
Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected
the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time
studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that
stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant
campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of
Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man,
refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst
Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he
wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, told four Congresswomen of color to
“go back to where they came from” even though all four are US citizens
and three were born here, hired an advisor that called outright lies
“alternative facts,” insulted Steph Curry on Twitter, insulted Meryl
Streep on Twitter, insulted Madonna on Twitter, insulted Snoop Dogg on
Twitter, insulted Chrissy Teigen on Twitter, promised that Mexico would
pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule
government scientists on major reports on climate change and other
issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was
feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to
withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders,
went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of
a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing
were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were
airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from
the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic
pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political
hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the
Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should
allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested
that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top
government doctors and treatments not available to the public,
overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported,
reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members
of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a
Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named
as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired
from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties,
eliminated the White House office of pandemic response, used soldiers as
campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing
with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military
parade, hired a shit ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil
service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government,
falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree
speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black
people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of
color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color,
suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked
the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state
legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the
election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to
allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired
Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff
Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as
if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney,
attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit
from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings
with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private
meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian
media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered”
US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a
political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy
platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution
gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British
Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes,
suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special
aptitude for science, fired the head of election cybersecurity after he
said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified
information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their
meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney
general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim
travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security
issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them,
interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development
there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d
helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7,
held a COVID superspreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe
that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in
court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that
factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror
attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t
come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an
infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,” forced
Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious
with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” fucked up
the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the
middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were
forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from
early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls
and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the
Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican,
stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election
win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which
presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor
whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV
show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped
the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that
any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other
countries laughed at us before he became president when several world
leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was
out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to
whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the
most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse
nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun
even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior
staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to
ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never
used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used
gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for
higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties,
apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped
protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to
defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was
talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself
an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of
Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would
be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who
served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for
African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a
“super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new
“hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling
Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family,
suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that
Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender
students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their
gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship
because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change
sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on
environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had
played a song called “Fuck tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a
disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason”
for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI
failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were
“spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine
Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault,
obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID
vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction
of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as
well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July
4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the
MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were
dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when
Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure, never seemed to
heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that
mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of
troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also
prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader
of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of
Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden
(Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase
their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were
held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground
Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and
watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO
summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though
everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very
stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to
commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole
bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.
